Do we live on a race? 

Are we truly living, or are we merely racing through it?

This September was the moment of quiet reflection within my own thought. 

It's sad but well said. This is a bittersweet realization because I was on a battle within my self, actually... 

There's a moment when I was feeling sad,  but then September whispered its wisdom. It reminded me that it's okay to have a pause. 

It taught me to embrace the nature of my self, so that I've decided that I will dancing to my own tune and just being me. 

Well, it's true that life seems like a race. Life can sometime expect us to follow the crowd. 

We're often told to do things in certain ways, to achieve certain milestones by specific ages, to fit in particular boxes, and march to someone's else beat. 

But,  I'm trying to let my self in a ''POMO'' (Pleasure of Missing Out) mode. 

Well, not saying that I'll leave all the social media off nor disappearing into a solitary place. It's just everything in between, about finding a balance as I'll not let my life be consumed by the fear of missing out.  

 So, I've decided that

 

The lesson I've learnt from people I admire is, they stay true to themselves.

 

Living authentically will lead me to hear the rhythm of my own's heart. 

In this kind of meaning, I'll try to recognize what I love, what I dream of, and where I want to go, and then just going for it. 

It's okay to be where I am now. 

For nothing is truly too late nor too early. 

It's not about being perfect, but it's about enjoying the dance while I'm dancing on my own tune. 

It's a journey of self-discovery, one step at a time. 

ねえ、ねえ、

I just want you to know that it's really hard not to talk to you when I want to,

... And It's equally difficult to not have the opportunity to see you when I truly need to,

... As well as not being with you when I long for you,

But you know, the hardest part is trying not to love you, 

When I already do.... 

By the way, いま何してんの?

Hahaha it's funny, eh? (笑)

I want to (try to) embrace my feelings towards you, 

and of course I have to realize,

that energy is never broken, just transferred into another form. 

I give my love energy to you, 

and I believe that,

someday I'll have and receive the same kind of energy,

even if it's not from you,

perhaps with better form, 

In a good time, 

with happiness, 

I will find my joy and I live in a peaceful life.

Honestly,

I long for a happy ending, 

with you,

but who knows that the actual happy ending for me is, 

even if our destiny couldn't meet, 

the happy ending probably knowing that I survived countless heartbreaks, unrequited loves, 

and I don't lose ability to love. 

And after every breaking, 

I wish I could realize that destiny has a different opinion, 

which doesn't resemble our dreams. 

ねえ、ねえ、あなたに会いたくて。

It's easy to get caught up in the hustle and bustle of daily life. It made us tend to do a routine without realizing what actually we're doing. 

Sometimes we're forced to drive back, to reassure things, like I once said to myself that it's extremely important to have better understanding on what I do. 

Thankfully this August offered a reprieve, a pause button that allowed me to delve deeper into my spirituality and reconnect with the essence of my faith. 

I'm trying to resemble how this month made me feel closer to God, not for any other intention, just as a sequence of my self-compassion. So that I learned the beauty of acceptance, and ignited a fresh spark of hope for the road ahead. 

···· Epiphany ····

noun. a moment when you suddenly feel that you understand, or suddenly become conscious of, something that is very important to you.