君のいない11月

Photo by M

November without you just like a year without autumn.  Could've been this becoming a right moment to forget you..... eventually ? 

 君のいない11月— November without you

What are you doing now? 

Are you eating well? 

Does your new work treat you well? 

This silence November without your talk feels so empty. It feels like a year without autumn, where the beauty of changing colors fades away unnoticed. The usual warm from our exchange thoughts has given away to a sudden chill— just like a summer suddenly changes into a cold winter. 

This whole month is pretty tough for me, wondering the moments we're not sharing, and each unwritten messages becomes a fallen leaf, a reminder of the conversations suspended in the air. 

I'm still falling out of love with you... 

After all this time, I'm still feeling this kind of love. And I know that this is just my imagination.

Just an imaginative thought which ensures me that probably, you just could be with me. 

I couldn't bear to wait even just an hour to talk to you, 

but this time is among the longest time I didn't hear anything from you. 

Finally, was  our last conversation marked as a goodbye. 'though I couldn't call that as a goodbye. As I only remembered about your wishes, my wishes too. 

Dear you, is it really real?

But then, I realized, 

With our distances, just like me as person of the earth and you're the star,

With our gaps, just like me as the moon and you're the sun,

With our differences, 

With our circumstances. 

I don't have any idea what are you doing right now. 

I believe you're in the safest place. 

I want you to drink your nice warm tea when the weather is cold. 

I want you to be the 'only one' at your work. 

I want you to be loved. 

Such are the things, when the colors seems fade away.... in nothingness. 

In your absence, I can't barely ready to face to coldness of this world. 

Without you,

I'm nothing. 

Currently I'm learning a new phrase. Well, I'm not really good at it but this I think already describes my current feelings. 

• 寂しい：lonely
• くなるね：it's going to be
• 寂しくなるね：I'll miss you

It's likely that I'll feeling so lonely if you're not here, if we're not talking to each other, that's why I'll miss you is the best word to say that. 

I thought that would be slowly faded away

As I thought that was the last time we talked without goodbye 

Lasting remarkable story  what I called love

'tough this kind of love is what it's said unreciprocated 

For I 

Fallen too profound

In the one sided feelings

That I'm the deep down still craving memories

That I can't lies

I'm still writing letters for you,

In which it's being redirected within the time when we could arrange a viewing at least

By this unsent letters 

I could say what I want to say, 

Every letters looks like calligraphy, don't you think so?

These are all unsent letters also a sign 

I'm still falling out of love with you

As for now, we have came to the point where a distance which must be covered for millions of light years.

I know

You must be knowing more than me

It's a distance that cannot be covered in our lifetime as humans. 

"It is not the sun catch up with the moon, nor does the night outrun the day. Each is traveling in an orbit of their own." 36:40.

Even in the same galaxy but separated in their own orbit of light.

But I'm still hoping you'll write to me,

I'm still hoping you'll have a feelings for me...

Is it too much?