I was a bit surprised. 

Not so long ago, I got a reminder in my calendar, 

『Try a thing you haven't tried, go to a place you have never been』

Little did I know that my unconscious minds were programmed once I wrote that reminder in the first place. I didn't remember exactly when I made that reminder. 

Surprisingly, it becomes a sign for me to always live my life. Well, it's not only about fame, wealth, or materialistic things. It's about how I feel a peaceful life with gratefulness. 

I know that the storms are always coming and sometimes we can't get what we want. 

However, making a manifestation about what we want to be is a little effort that will lead us to reach our goals. 

Thus, it makes me want to share some of my journey in learning Japanese. If I make a title, it would be "How Learning Japanese Transformed Me". 

Why do I learn Japanese? 

I learn Japanese just because. 

「いや、うそでしょ!!」

Hahaha! No, I'm not kidding. A long time ago, when I was in elementary school, I remembered my first celebrity crush was a character from Tokyo Drift, Han Lue. Long story short I got crazy with Japan because of that (Even though I grew up with Japanese animations which aired on TV, such as Doraemon, Crayon Shin-chan, Detective Conan, etc). 

However, little Feni didn't know much about Japan, only having imagination about this beautiful country without any further research about it. I also didn't have a chance to learn Japanese in high school due to the Deutsch subject that I must have. 

Well, during college, I had a very busy schedule and just happened to learn Japanese a little with my German. But no improvement and stuck and simple conversation without knowing how to read the alphabet, yet I didn't do much and paused my learning for a long time... 

Then, yup! Despite the routines and workload I had to endure during my adult life, I felt something was missing. I craved for something outside my work. 

This led me to gain new experiences by making friends as many as possible. I was exchanging letters with some pen pals, and I'll let you know that, even though the encounter was short, I gained new perspectives from them, and  eventually has impact on me, which led me to learn Japanese. 

Photos sent by pals

Self-Acceptance

Exchanging perspectives more deeply, such as sharing viewpoints with strangers, makes my life brighter. There's a willingness to show my culture; well, it's unconsciously made me learn more about it. Before, I less appreciated what I had. However, it turned out to be, Yeah, my life, my home country, my culture aren't perfect, but all of them are beautiful. Just like the way I adore other countries. The diversity makes it even more beautiful. 

Without hesitation, I will learn my tradition and want the world to know, too, about our uniqueness, which may be different from what they have. Then, it was also encourage me to travel around nearby towns and see what I have here. 

I think this simple thing has led me to be grateful for what I have. I tend to compare myself with my friend's achievements, and I rush to get what I want but do not understand what my capabilities are. By doing things such as learning about my culture, exploring nearby towns, improving my skills, enjoying my hobbies and exchanging perspectives with the world... Slowly, my life changed in a better way.

 「I try to focus on what I have, rather than what's not I have」

On The Process of Learning Japanese

Long-life learning seemed to echo in my mind. I also knew that I couldn't just stand to let myself (or it's my mind) lie down. Yeah, it sounds weird, but I like studying. I also found out that my former college friends and strangers who I met, having the same vibes as me, never stopped learning. Well, my profession can't let me take a rest tho', I should always join CPD and seminars, lol 😁. 

However, it looks like starting new things, like new hobbies, is easier compared to making it sustainable. Consistency is the best way. But, just being consistent isn't enough. We know that we have an abundance of resources on YouTube, the internet, books, etc, but I can't maintain what should I grab in for certain times, sometimes I felt too much information, yet I couldn't make a conclusion, this is what I remembered from my religion teacher: you need a teacher for studying. 

I tried to meet many people on language apps, to see whether I'll find a study partner or not. But it's difficult to look for a kindred spirit. Everyone is busy with their schedule. Although a short encounter with them also motivated me to learn more, they're all great learners as they're focused on their goals and found effective ways to learn their target languages. I also met some native speakers along the way. Some of them encouraged me to stay motivated in learning Japanese. 

Long story short, I found a native Japanese who is willingly teaching me Japanese online. For the very first time, I was nervous. I haven't thinking about learning Japanese intensely, only going with the flow. I was hesitant whether I could manage to do it or not. However, learning Japanese itself is a challenge already; why I'm not continuing to do it seriously?

Then, Yeaaa It's been around 6 months already since my learning had started. I really appreciated for him making time to teach me Japanese. 

The First Package from afar (I got from my teacher, Maruoka sensei)  Almost every once a week, we do the class online. I was very surprised that teacher gives me detailed information, resources, and explanation along the studies. I can learn Japanese in a better way. During the lesson, I also really happy because I can see Japan, my dream country, directly from his perspective.  A beautiful scenery sent by my teacher I made many mistakes. Of course.  I need to be good at managing my time while still understand the lesson. It's required patience to learn a language, after all. Naturally, it taught me resilience, I can delve deeper that making mistakes during learning process is okay. By doing so, I became more forgiving of my own imperfections.  Although it's hard, I can feel small sense of victory. It's for example when I can understand my teacher speaking in Japanese, or catching some words on Animes and doramas I watch, and little bit understanding my favorite Japanese songs, even begun to sing it. These moments are small but a reminder for of how far I had come.  Little Things That Aren't A Little I came to think that, every encounter with people, isn't by accident. In the end, it leads me towards myself. I learned more about myself. I learned to be grateful with what I have, I learned to focus on my goals rather than comparing myself with people, I learned that people come and go, so I should appreciate while they're surround me, especially my families and friends.  Even I already notice that many people come and go, I'm not afraid of opening new friendship, networks, and beyond. Along the way, there are always inspiring people who introduce me for new musics, foods, even new fields I don't familiar with. Their support make me realize that,   「Learning is not a solitary journey but one the thrives on connection」 Japanese foods and store The journey of learning process doesn't always count as single and direct goals. We never know what will happen in the future. I never know that there are many beautiful things await me. There are still many places to visit, many people to meet, many stories to unfold, many opportunities to try, and many things to do. But, I should keep in mind that, in the end, these are all leading into knowing myself.  So, it's okay to do little things every day, to make a small movement, to sometimes get a pause, and at certain times you can try to run, yes, it's beautiful, it will always beautiful...