Apakah aku menyalahkan makna cinta
yg merindu tapi tak tahu mau berkata apa
apakah aku ingin cinta saat ia tak ada aku menanti
saat ia ada aku tak akui

Apakah rasa dibenakku ini dapat dipanggil cinta
jika aku mengharap ada tapi tidak pernah kuungkapkan

Apakah aku mengharap cinta jika saat rayuan datang aku menghadang

Apakah aku butuh cinta
jika rasa rindu pahit dan sedih sangat kunikmati
atas nama cinta

Kenapa aku harus menaruh sedikit hatiku padamu
Padahal jelas terlihat bahwa
Aku belum tahu alasan itu
Aku takut lagi lagi, rasa ini hanya singgah sementara
Hanya menghasilkan satu bait puisi
Yang entah hilang dimakan zaman

Sekali lagi, aku berharap sekali lagi

Mengapa

Lalu keluar pertanyaan dari otakku mengapa

Mengapa tidak kamu saja yang terlebih dahulu jatuh hati padaku
Lalu kau dapat dengan mudah mengatakannya

Mungkin karena aku anggap kau sebagai teman
Aku terus mengelak untuk membenarkan perasaan
Aku terus menahan setiap cemburu yang muncul
Jika kau bersamanya
Jika kau bersama mereka

Aku terus menyangkal jika
Pada akhirnya aku pun menyerah bahwa ada setitik rasa di pucuk surat itu
Aku tidak dapat menimbang kadarnya
Sampai aku merasakan getarannya


Di puisi ini
Lagi dan lagi
Aku merasakan hal yang sama
Merasakan penyesalan yang sama
Merindukan sesuatu yang sama

Aku..
Masih berlanjut...

Why this really disturb me. I actually cant stand to always prevent myself not thinking about you even for a while. I really need to take a deep breath, than I reduce my pain because this feeling. I after this become so much selfish. My heart beat really fast. I know you, but do you know me? I do care to know what you are up to. If love is cruel for me as I just being a one sided lover? Cant I just syncronize it to become resonance, between you and. This can't still be called love.

You know that I'm so much hurt. You had been in my side for very little while. But I just cant bear that I fall into you. I do not think anything else. What I believe is just that you were on my side that time.

That day was a Tuesday!!

In Tuesday we got a practicum for IBUV. Commonly, It teaches us how to do surgery. Well, most of us suddenly got a tremor on that day! Why???

So, here is the story.
We had an exam to do suture in a chicken meat. One person got one needle and for suturing. We had to do 10 variation of sutures. Each of the suture would be given 5 minutes to finish. We must to get around 4 simple sutures, the other sutures were varied.


Then.....

We got that tremor.😥🤒

I've been interviewing more than 10 of my friends and what is their reaction?
100% of them were also tremor.🙄

Actually we just got shocked because that was our first time to have this kind of examination. We were also worried if we couldn't finish the suture as the time given.🤗

Having another incredible experiences as a vet students? Share to me 😀

Does love come to this stage of life, when I try to focuse on my work and it doesn't care that I'm still trying to get rid of it oftenly when I think the chance has come?
Does it love when it feels like I'm the only one who feel it, doesn't have any chances to speak of it, when all people just stand out there and show how they love well. Does it really menaningfull if I just make it like a river, to let it flow through the current, but actually I hope it arrives at the correct place at the correct time, then I still hope that it would be a good vibes that brings benefit. Do I can call it love if it happens not synchronize and myself try to handle it and giving my mind a though that it isn't still be called love, maybe it just a feeling, just a side effect of seeing oftenly, because this person come to your life and you can always starring at him, becuse you can make help and bullied on him. 
I tried to figure out how the memory of what is love and what can we call love having the truth and pure. Well, actually I just can say that I didn't need to find it right aways, because actually I can find it through prayer.