This May, perhaps teaches me another lessons to grow. 

Sometimes I couldn't understand why but in the end I'm learning that actually everything that I'm going through have reasons. 

                                       Everything has a reason. 

I have to believe that I can go through these all. 

The mundane life, difficult days, happy days... Everything. With the help of God, with the help of families and friends or even strangers. 

... It doesn't have direct correlation with love. Everything I've talked before, but somehow explaining it with this topic sounds more understandable. 

Well, sometimes I'm too afraid for being on my own, like you can say being single. 

Although when I'm doing something I can say that I can do it on my own. I can go to the hospital by myself, going to supermarket alone, McD time on my own, or hanging out at a cafe with one cup of coffee (read:I'm alone).

Let's say that I don't hate being alone but it's more awesome if I can do everything I like with someone special. 

... Yet, sometimes I also don't want to be in a situation where I can't become myself, not so sure about my own self, or afraid of serious relationship. 

By the way, I'm sure that everyone has their own struggles, some might have the same thoughts as mine, and it's okay isn't to not rushing everything, just because we want to be like somebody elses? 

It's my own journey of finding my other half.  There will be the time when I will finally say, "It's worth a wait!! "

Maybe right now your journey is about you. 

Yes darling, Maybe your journey now is not about love. Maybe right now your journey is about you. Maybe this is a season you are being challenged to be your own savior. 

To be your own safe place. Maybe right now you are being reminded that the people who walked away were only ever leading you back to yourself. Were only ever leading you here. 

And here, you are okay on your own. You're rebuilding. 

Here you're adapting and mending and reclaiming all of the pieces you let them walk away with. 

Here, you are being kinder to your soul. 

You're giving yourself the same kind of love you have always given to others. 

Here, you are not rushing your heart. 

You are not depending on another human being to fix it. Instead, here, you are doing that on your own. 

Here, you are healing. [cr: @rainbowsalt]

And... The lessons to be learned. 

I'm not going to rush anything. 

I'm not going to stress out or worry about how things will work out for me. Instead of overthinking, I will align my faith with divine timing and trust that everything that belongs in my life is making its way towards me right now. I know that the universe will deliver. In the meantime, I'll continue to get better and evolve so I can make room for new energy to enter my life. 

Hoarding a piece of feelings at a time.  

What is it like? 

Even though it won't be revealed, I'm sure our pure affection will definitely reach the person we're aiming for. 

....... Even if it's late or not in our reference of time.

In terms of feelings, happiness becomes an innocent thing.  

Often we ignore the feelings that are owned by ourselves, because we are more concerned with the feelings of others.

Sometimes we enjoy pain and sadness.  

These become part of the feeling of anxiety if something bad happens to that person. 

In fact, sometimes the ego is defeated, "As long as you are happy, I'm okay."

From the moment the feelings echoes in the mind, we could be blinded by it.  

Logically goes, but is completely defeated by feelings.

If it's like that, whether we like it or not we are willing to sacrifice, willing to do something as long as the person can live a good life.

.

Even though the feelings isn't mutual, are we sure we are sincere?

Initially, it is undeniable that the sense of belonging always arises.  

The feelings of wanting to be together.  

The desire to continue to be considered there.  

The fondness of wanting to be used as a reinforcement. 

Stage of Being Sincere

However, there are those who reach the stage of being sincere.  

She believes that basically, everything she does is to give happiness.

 ''It is more happiness to give, not to receive!"

Maybe we think that as a giver of happiness, there will surely be times when she will get bored, right?  

That's right, the giver of happiness will feel boredom.  However, if she is sincere, the giver of happiness will not think too much about reciprocity.

『The real test of sincerity is to see whether a person will help you even if he knows he will get nothing in return. The truth is anyone can help when there’s something to gain; but to help when there’s nothing in return shows true love & a beautiful heart』- Mufti Menk

The giver of happiness becomes someone who is good, continues to help, and is certain because there is a basis of feeling.  But, when she is sincere, and stops giving happiness, it doesn't mean she is tired and reluctant to be a source of happiness for that person. 

About Priority

It could be, she has found someone she prioritizes more.  Because of that, this feeling shifts to the person she thinks is more deserving of it.

And once again, as long as you are happy that is fine, but as long as yourself are happy, has it ever occurred to you?

Well, let's consider for a moment, before we give something good.  

As long as you are happy, but I do not suffer. 

   Also Read : Happiness Starts Within

Perhaps, you see that others' people life are more colorful. 

However, No, no.. That don't always happen that way. 

Learn to be more grateful. Learn  to be more ok. 

This world is on rush. Full of people seeking for meaning. 

The day without a meaning is also a good day. 

Let's keep calm and enjoy the mundane life. 

Because who knows, 『nothing happening means a gift from God to be in peace』.

A Short Escape and A Sudden Decision

Do you prefer to make a sudden decision or get fully prepared before you travel?

Well, sometimes I describe myself as a decisive person because I tend to decide something very briefly. That was the time when I had a mood to get some fresh air. I called it "A Short Escape and A Sudden Decision" for my past experience travel to Solo and its surrounding. 

Keraton Mangkunegaran

I was reflected about my sudden decision to go to my friend's place just about my current life lesson, which is said, "Sometimes when you least expect it, good things happen". That's about the time when I wanted to hang out somewhere not far from my town but not too close, also with a small budget :). And... woala! I felt happy for that short trip. 

Go with The Flow

I asked a friend whether she could have a day off on the day I planned to visit her house. Unexpected thing had happened, she had a day off at that day because there was also her friend who would going to visit her home, the same time as mine. What a coincidence!

For make a long story short, there came the time when I was with my friend riding a motorbike from Ungaran to Klaten on that day. That was my first experience to travel there by motorbike.  I didn't feel wore out because my mind was full of curiosity during the way there. 

Klaten - Solo - Karanganyar 

After almost two hours, finally we arrived safely to Klaten. Now, there were four of us. A good conversation just come out naturally, even though I was the oldest of them all. I was happy as they just speak to me casually. We talked about our jobs, Campus flashback, current relationship 😅, and many things. For some time, we had no idea where to go. Let's eat good foods first! Hahaha.

Fried Gurame or whatsoever (I don't remember). Very delicious😋

However, because we had been there, it wasn't complete if we didn't go to 'Umbul' to go for swimming. Actually, there is a famous place to go, but we weren't going there. It's much worthy then the famous one I guess. So, lesson learned. In this kind of situation, it's better to trust a person originally from the village.

Umbul Besuki

Next, our destination was Keraton Mangkunegaran. I love to visit a place like this. 

Some pics we captured at Mangkunegaran

It didn't end up just yet. We still had one tourist destination to go. That was fantastic because we need to travel for around 2 hours. What? I had no idea but we're all agreed that's why we decided to go. The location is situated in a mountain side, which is very steep and slippery road I could say. The temple is one Hindu Temple, yea I could feel the feeling of little Bali, hahaha. 

Candi Cetho